Category: Humor
-
REAL STORIES OF THE NON-TECHNICALLY INCLINED
I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer would not turn on.1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say…
-
Some Assembly Required…
'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the houseI searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.Instructions were studied and we were inspired,In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to…
-
STRESS MANAGEMENT
Picture yourself near a stream…Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air…Nothing can bother you here…No one knows this secret place…You are in total seclusion from that place called the world…The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity…The water is clear…You can easily make out the face…
-
The bird is the word
This was in today's Oregonian:Jim Morris thought there was something familiar about the three gold and white chickens he saw in the parking lot of the Motel 6 in Troutdale while on a trip to watch some motocross races.They even came when he whistled.It wasn't until he got home to Coos Bay that the Federal…
-
The Perfect Story
There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving a perfect car (a Lamborghini) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the…
-
Those amazing Texans
Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.One Texan said to the other, "That gal is having a bad time!"The other Texan agreed and said "Yep,…
-
Tweety bird
? ( l ', . 't t ? ) _,,:cc,,,;. ,,c$$$$$$;$$$$$$$$$$$c, ,c$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$h, ,c$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$c, ,d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$, ,$$$$$",d$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$hc'?$$$$$c ,$$$$$u$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$h,?$$$$L J$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$b$$$$$ $$$$$$$P$$?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$'$b'$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"$"d$$$$$$$$$$ '$$$$$$c ",nn,?$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$",,'r",d$$$$$$$$$' '$$$$$$$ MMMMM'$$$$$$$$$$$$F,MMMb'$$$$$$$$$$' '$$$$$$<MMTTM.?$$$$$$$$$$$,MMMMM $$$$$$$$' '$$$$$,M";;; '$$$$$$$$$$'M",,'",$$$$$$$' ?$$$$,<( ') $$$$$$$$$$ ,('') J$$$$$P' ?$$$$,( ) $$$$$$$$$$ (' ),$$$$$F '$$$$.'-' $$$$$$$$$$,'—',$$$$$' $$$$$hh$$$$$????$$$hc$$$$$$$' d$$$$$$$$$ '=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D' $$$$$$$$$; $$$$$$$$$$$$c,,,,c$$$$$$$$$$$' "?$$$$P"" "$$$$$$?????$$??" $$$$$ 4$$$$$c ,$$$$$$$"c z$<$$$$$$$'$, z$<$$$$$$$$$'$c <$$$$$$$$$$$;?$ '$<$$$$$$$$$$$:$ ?L$$$$$$$$$$$:$ ?$$$$$$$$$$$d' '$$$$$$$$$$F '?$c'??3$F CCC CCC ,;<CCC;,,. 'CC CCC .,,,,,. CCC<CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC, 'CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC' ''CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC '"<<CCCCCCCC" ''<<CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC You have been SEEN by the tweety bird. He will grant you 1…