Compaq Innovation News

  • Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
  • A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
  • A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
  • My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
  • Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
  • Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
  • I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
  • A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
  • Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
  • I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
  • I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave
  • me the axe. If electricity comes from electrons… does that mean that morality
  • comes from morons? A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
  • Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
  • A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
  • Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
  • Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
  • Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
  • Banning the bra was a big flop.
  • Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
  • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
  • A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
  • Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  • A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
  • Without geometry, life is pointless.
  • When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
  • Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
  • Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
via eMail, Wed, 13 Feb 2002 20:45:12 -0500