- According to Movie Life magazine, Ann Margaret would like to start having babies, soon, but her husband wants her to wait awhile. Why?
PAUL LYNDE: He's out of town.
- What are "dual-purpose cattle" good for that other cattle aren't?
PAUL LYNDE: They give milk…and cookies, but I don't recommend the cookies.
- Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
PAUL LYNDE: Who told you about my elephant?
- When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
CHARLEY WEAVER: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
- Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
CHARLEY WEAVER: His feet.
- Before a cow will give you any milk, she has to have something very important. What?
PAUL LYNNE: An engagement ring.
- According to Robert Mitchum, one thing has ruined more actors than drinking. What?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Not drinking.
- True or false: Some African Watusi tribesmen greet guests by running toward them at full speed, then high-jumping over them.
CHARLEY WEAVER: This is sometimes terribly embarrassing to tall guests.
- You're on your first visit to Japan, and you head right for the Kabuki. Why?
PAUL LYNDE: It was a long plane ride.
- If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
CHARLEY WEAVER: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
- Do female frogs croak?
PAUL LYNDE: If you hold their little heads under water.
- You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
DON KNOTTS: That's what's been keeping me awake.
- True or false: Many people sleep better in their street clothes than they do in their pajamas.
PAUL LYNDE: Yes. We call them winos.
- According to psychologists, when a child begins to get curious about sex, what is the one question he will most ask his mommy and daddy?
PAUL LYNDE: Where can I get some?
- Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?
JOAN RIVERS: Yes. It's daddy's turn.
- Question: In what state was Abraham Lincoln born?
PAUL LYNDE: Naked and screaming like the rest of us.