Lexicon

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:[I have exercised my editorial privilege by adding words to the definitions for added clarity]

Foreploy
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.
Fortissimoe
The musical moment produced when someone serially slaps the faces of the first-violin section.
Tatyr
A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.
Doltergeist
A spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.
Giraffiti
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high, such as the famous "Surrender Dorothy" on the Beltway overpass.
Sarchasm
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.
Conratemps
The resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.
Coiterie
A very VERY close-knit group.
Whitetater
A [racist] political hot potato.
Impotience
Eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription.
Auto-da-feh
The extermination of heretics via drowning in a vat of pus.
Stupfather
Woody Allen. [shtup = Yiddish for sexual intercourse]
Reintarnation
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
DIOS
The one true operating system.