Only in New England

TemperatureWhat others doWhat New Englander’s do
+60New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.People in New England plant gardens.
+50Californians shiver uncontrollably.People in New England sunbathe.
+40Italian cars won’t start.People in New England drive with the windows down.
+32Distilled water freezes.Moosehead Lake’s water gets thicker.
+20Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.
+15New York landlords finaly turn up the heat.People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.
ZeroPeople in Miami all die…New Englanders close the windows.
-10Californians fly away to Mexico.People in New England get out their winter coats.
-25Hollywood disintegrates.The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.
-40Washington DC runs out of hot air.People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.
-100Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.New Englanders get frustrated because they can’t start the “Kah.”
-460ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).People in New England start saying “Cold ’nuff for ya?”
-500Hell freezes over.New England Patriots win the Super Bowl and the Red Sox win the World Series.
via email from John Treworgy, Mon, 4 Sep 2006 12:05:51 -0700

See also Temperature Guide for the Minnesota Version.