Month: August 2000

A minister gave a talk to the Lion's Club on sex.  When he got home he couldn't tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they complimented her on the…

=====================================LIGHTING CHARCOAL GRILLSorWHY ENGINEERS ARE THE WAY THEY ARE…Our subject today is lighting charcoal grills.  One of our favorite charcoal grill lighters is a guy named George Goble (really!!), a computer person in the Purdue University engineering department. Each year, Goble and a bunch of other engineers hold a picnic in West Lafayette, Indiana, at…

Great truths about life that little children have learnedNo matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back.  They always catch the second person.Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.You can’t trust…

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:[I have exercised my editorial privilege by adding words to the definitions for added clarity]ForeployAny misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining…

The goal of this week's word game challenge is to use the words "Lewinsky" and "Kaczynski" in a limmerick.  Submit your answers by return e-mail.Here are the winners:Runner up #1There once was a girl named LewinskyWho played on skin flute like Stravinsky'Twas "Hail To The Chief"On this flute made of beefThat stole the front page…

Dear God,Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?NormaDear God,Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?JaneDear God,Who draws the lines around the countries?NanDear God,I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.…

Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the golden gate bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing.  His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor.  He was late getting home and was speeding. *Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned…