Dr Wingnut

Month: August 2000

  • Late night at the bar

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness.  They left in the early morning hours and went home separately.They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.Bill claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as…

  • Klingon Programming

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (Say it like you mean it): "Specifications are for the weak and timid!""This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!""You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in…

  • Kissing rules

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The Lovers of the Heart In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.Article 1: Statement of Love — The KissKiss on the hand…. I adore you.Kiss on the cheek… I just want to be friends.Kiss on the neck… I want you.Kiss on…

  • Kids on Love

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10).  Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten.WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?"Eighty-four.  Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and…

  • Ken Starr Chatroom

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    Dr Wingnut
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    At the urging of Vice President Al Gore and senior advisor Ira Magaziner, the White House has persuaded Special Prosecutor Ken Starr to conduct the Clinton/Starr testimony in an AOL chat room — grand jury testimony for the twenty-first century.STARRMAN: did you at any time have sxl rltns with ms lewinsky;STARRMAN: ?PREZ179: i never brok…

  • Keeping Watch

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Outside a small Macedonian village close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of the site of significant historical developments spanning more than 2,000 years. When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the Order of the Perpetual Watch dies,…

  • Just a thought

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper.  Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and…