Author: Dr Wingnut
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Lawyers
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the golden gate bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding. *Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned…
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Klingon Programming
Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (Say it like you mean it): "Specifications are for the weak and timid!""This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!""You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in…
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Kissing rules
The Lovers of the Heart In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.Article 1: Statement of Love — The KissKiss on the hand…. I adore you.Kiss on the cheek… I just want to be friends.Kiss on the neck… I want you.Kiss on…
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Kids on Love
Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10). Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten.WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?"Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and…
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Ken Starr Chatroom
At the urging of Vice President Al Gore and senior advisor Ira Magaziner, the White House has persuaded Special Prosecutor Ken Starr to conduct the Clinton/Starr testimony in an AOL chat room — grand jury testimony for the twenty-first century.STARRMAN: did you at any time have sxl rltns with ms lewinsky;STARRMAN: ?PREZ179: i never brok…
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From Good to Bad to Worse:
Bad: You can't find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.Worse: You're in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you.Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.Worse: As a sacrifice.Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.Worse: She's a…
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Just a thought
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and…