Author: Dr Wingnut
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Humor
Dad: Son, come in here, we need to talk.Son: What's up, Dad?Dad: There's a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it?Son: I don't believe, if I understand the definition of "scratch the car," that I can say, truthfully, that I scratched the car.Dad: Well, it wasn't there yesterday, and you drove…
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Wisdom on a restroom wall
From a bathroom stall (excuse me, a “loo”) in London: I’m into S&M, bestiality, and necrophilia, or am I just beating a dead horse?via eMail, Sun, 2 Jan 2000 17:56:43 -0600
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The Funeral
A man was leaving a 7-11 with his morning coffee and newspaper when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind…
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Oh, the state of affairs!
Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:29 have been accused of spousal abuse7 have been arrested for fraud19 have been accused of writing bad checks117 have bankrupted at least two businesses3 have been arrested for assault71 cannot get a credit card due to…
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Just in Today
Continuing the current trend of large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press conference that Christmas and Hanukkah will merge. An industry source said that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years.While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the overhead cost of having…
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Y2K Christmas
T'was the week after ChristmasAnd all through the house not one pc was working not even a mouse.I turned on the power but nothing was workingI grab the computer and start banging and jerking.I laid out three grand for this big piece of junkOn january 1st the damn thing went "kerplunk"!When I threw it out…
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Welcome to the Rust Belt
You know you are from Michigan when:You own only three spices – salt, pepper and ketchup.You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.You've taken your…