Dr Wingnut

Category: Computer

  • Glossary of Computer Terms

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    Defined Minnesota styleLog OnMaking da vood stove hotter.Log OffDon't add vood. MonitorKeep and eye on da vood stove. MegahertzWhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning.Floppy DiskVhat you get from piling too much wood. RamDa hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork. DriveGetting home most of da vinter. PromptVhat ya vish da…

  • Klingon Programming

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (Say it like you mean it): "Specifications are for the weak and timid!""This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!""You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in…

  • The Night Before Christmas – Internet Style

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in , ,

    A festive holiday poem‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,There were hacker’s a surfing.  Geeks?  Yeah, you bet.The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,While visions of Java danced in their dreams.My wife on the…

  • Computer Jargon!

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    When I went to college in the 1980's, I heard a lot of words like "data input" and "beta version." They confused me.  I wanted desperately to know what people were talking about, what Big Secret resided in the computer industry.Now that I've worked in a computer company for the last few years, I've gained…

  • Computing Definitions

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    AlphaSoftware undergoes alpha testing as a first step in getting user feedback.  Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."BetaSoftware undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."ComputerInstrument of torture.  The first computer was invented by Roger "Duffy" Billingsly, a British scientist.  In a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler, Duffy disguised…

  • eMail junk (Or the facts of online life)

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Here, finally, is one that might actually be worth forwarding.  It’s a good reality check.  We in Technology Support urge you to consider the following the next time you receive a chain letter or a message telling you the sensational news that USA Today and CNN forgot to mention…  This should be required reading to…

  • For the computer lover in all of us.

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”In response to Bill’s comments, GM issued a press release…