Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Only in Maine

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    The owner of a golf course in Maine was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.  He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Maine, and I need some help.  If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how…

  • The best divorce letter ever written

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    Dear Laura,I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore.  The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again.  But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking.  Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make…

  • Ole and Lena

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    Ole, while not a brilliant man, was a gifted portrait artist.  His fame grew and soon people from all over the country were coming to him for paintings.One day, a beautiful young woman pulled up to his house in a stretch limo.  She asked Ole if he would paint her in the nude.  This was…

  • Once a pun a time

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    Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers.  However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed a fire.  Thus, we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled.A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dophins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of young seagulls. …

  • The lost chapter of Genesis

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    Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.So, God asked him, “What’s wrong with you?”Adam said he didn’t have anyone to talk to.God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.  He said, “This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will…

  • The perfect husband

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    Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.  Everyone else in the room stops to listen.MAN: “Hello”WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me.  Are you at the club?”MAN: “Yes”WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and…

  • Life cycle

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    Woman’s life story…What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78?At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her…