Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • A train ride

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    Dr Wingnut
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    In a train carriage there was Bill Clinton, George Bush, a good looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, Clinton had a big red slap mark…

  • Special High Intensity Training

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    Dr Wingnut
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    MEMORANDUMTo: All Staff MembersRE: Special High Intensity TrainingIn order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).We are trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel…

  • How Many Church Members Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    CharismaticsOnly one; Hands already in the air ( Do I hear an "amen" )Roman CatholicsNone. They use candlesPentecostalsTen. One to change, nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.PresbyteriansNone. God has predestined when the lights will be on and off. EpiscopaliansEight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much they like the…

  • Top 25 Country Songs

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    Dr Wingnut
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    25. Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.24. His Teeth Was Stained, But His Heart Were Pure.23. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?22. I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling.21. I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The…

  • You know you're drinking too much coffee when…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    You answer the door before people knock.Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.You ski uphill.You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.You lick your coffeepot clean.Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.You chew on other people's fingernails.Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."You can type 60…

  • The Game Warden…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Bob was stopped by a game warden in Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing.The game warden asked Bob, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"Bob replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish.""Pet fish?!" the warden replied."Yes, sir. Every night…

  • Dam humor

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    Dr Wingnut
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    If the following is something that has already made the Internet "rounds," I have never seen it before. The person who sent it to me asserts that it is genuine, but even if it is fictional, it is pretty damn (oops – dam) funny.The letter…Mr. Ryan De Vries2088 DaggetPierson, MI 49339Dear Mr. De Vries:RE: DEQ…