Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace

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    Page yourself over the intercom. (Don’t disguise your voice.)Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.  Always wear them one day after your boss does.  (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.)Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names.  “That’s…

  • JFK Jr. Jokes

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    You knew they were coming…What's the new Kennedy documentary?  Three Funerals and A Wedding.Why didnt JFK shower before the plane flight?  He figured he'd just wash up on shore.What did John say when he reached the pearly gates?  I hope I don't have to take an entrance exam.What was JFK Jr's favorite movie?  Splash.Where do…

  • Little Mary

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    Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?" When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in…

  • Moon Walk

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    When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.  Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the…

  • New FDA Warnings

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    The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again…

  • People are stupid

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    ANN ARBORThe Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 8:50 AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.  When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said…

  • Puns are 2/3 P U

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    A Chinese scholar was lecturing when all the lights in the auditorium went out. He asked members of the audience to raise their hands. As soon as they had all complied, the lights went on again. He then said, "Prove wisdom of Old Chinese saying: … 'Many hands make light work.'"A butcher fell in love…