Category: Humor

The RescueA ladder was placed against the bedroom window of a burning house, and a young fireman rushed up. Inside was a curvy brunette in a see-through nightie. "Aha," said he, "You're the second pregnant girl I've rescued this year!""But I'm not pregnant," indignantly exclaimed the brunette."You're not rescued yet either."Fire At The Blonde's HouseThis blonde's house…

The language folks who brought us "Ebonics," have decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. Th e following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:HEIDINoun.  Greeting.HIRE…

You would learn stuff like…When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.When it's in your best interest—practice obedience.Let others know when they've invaded your territory.Take naps and stretch before…

It is near the end of the school year.  The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do.  All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave…

The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:[I have exercised my editorial privilege by adding words to the definitions for added clarity]ForeployAny misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining…

This was from the body of a message my brother sent me.  He upgraded to Win98 when it came out.  He is pretty technically inclined, not the usual windows user.I have found out ANOTHER flaw in 98. In order to get any update to the system one has to go to Microsoft's windows update page.…

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said, "We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on…