Category: Humor

THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.Runners-up:[AP, Mammoth Lakes] A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope…

ArteryThe study of paintings.BacteriaBack door to cafeteria.BariumWhat doctors do when patients die. BenignWhat you be after you be eight.Cesarean SectionA neighborhood in Rome.CATscanSearching for kitty.CauterizeMade eye contact with her. ColicA sheep dog.ComaA punctuation mark. D & CWhere Washington is.DilateTo live long.EnemaNot a friend.FesterQuicker than someone else.FibulaA small lie. GenitalNon-Jewish person.G.I. SeriesWorld Series of military baseball.HangnailWhat…

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer.  Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace…

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.  The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper:Dear Sirs:While…

Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas petKerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier = Blue Skye, a dog for visionariesGreat Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breedPekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dogIrish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle Labrador…

You know what a "burnout" is.You know what "Sike" means.You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, Wax off".You know that another name for a keyboard is a"Synthesizer".You wanted to be a Goonie.You know who Max Headroom is.You ever wore flourescent, neon if you will, clothing.You could breakdance, or wish you could.You wanted to be…

Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they don't realize it.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your…