Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Eternity?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith.  Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths.  Give us a little clue."The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over…

  • Funny Stuff

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    A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But, then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."The husband asks, "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The…

  • Have you heard this?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A burglar broke into a house one night.  He shined his flashlight around looking for valuables as he walked through the dark, quiet house.When he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."The burglar nearly jumped out of his skin.…

  • If Edgar Allen Poe Had a Computer instead of a Raven. . .

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,Systems manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,Longing for the warmth of bed sheets,Still I sat there doing spreadsheets:Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer.Typing with steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command,and waited for the disk to…

  • Kissing rules

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The Lovers of the Heart In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.Article 1: Statement of Love — The KissKiss on the hand…. I adore you.Kiss on the cheek… I just want to be friends.Kiss on the neck… I want you.Kiss on…

  • McDonald's Fast Food Job Application

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM!  (editor's note: I would have hired him too!!)NAME: Greg BulmashDESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a…

  • Mouse repair bulletin

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    Dr Wingnut
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    This is an actual alert to IBM field engineers that went out to all IBM branch offices.  The person who wrote it was very serious.  The rest of us, find it very funny.Abstract: Mouse Balls available as FRUMouse Balls are now available as FRU.  Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should perform erratically,…