Category: Humor

It is rumored a film about Bill and Monica is already completed in Hollywood. All that is left is to figure out the title of the movie.Here are some candidates for the title:Citizen StainPrince of TiesThe Bad News BaresDumb and Dumber TwoLady and the TrampThe Hoarse WhispererApackolies NowDial M for MonicaWilly Wonka and the Cigar…

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.Turning to the man next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth."The man said, "No problem."With that, he reached into his…

Please read the ENTIRE message.THERANGEOF8INCHESLONG.THE FUNCTIONING OF WHICH ISENJOYEDBYMEMBERSOFBOTHSEXES.ISUSUALLY FOUND HUNG, DANGLINGREADY LOOSELYFORINSTANTACTION.IT BOASTS OF A CLUMP OFLITTLEHAIRYTHINGSATONEEND ANDSMALLHOLE AT THE OTHER. IN USE, ITISINSERTED,ALMOSTALWAYSWILLINGLY, SOMETIMES SLOWLY,SOMETIMESQUICKLY,INTOAWARM,FLESHY, MOIST OPENING WHEREITISTHRUSTINANDDRAWN OUTAGAINAND AGAIN MANY TIMES INSUCCESSION,OFTENQUICKLYANDACCOMPANIED BY SQUIRMINGBODILY MOVEMENTS.ANYONEFOUNDLISTENING IN WILL MOST SURELY RECOGNIZETHERHYTHMIC,PULSINGSOUND, RESULTING FROM THEWELLLUBRICATEDMOVEMENTS.WHEN FINALLY WITHDRAWN, IT LEAVESBEHINDAJUICY,FROTHY,WHITESTICKYSUBSTANCE, SOME OF WHICH WILLNEEDCLEANINGFROMTHEOUTERSURFACES OF…

Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour.  Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles.  Pretend you are looking…

These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given out in Honor of the GM's fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, in Spanish, "it doesn't go."The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It…

Eye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly marques four my revueMiss steaks eye kin knot sea.Eye strike a key and type a wordAnd weight four it two sayWeather eye am wrong oar writeIt shows me strait a weigh.As soon as a mist ache is maidIt nose bee fore two longAnd eye…

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money.  She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"  After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office…