Category: Humor

The numerical format for the day before yesterday was 11-17-1999.  All of the digits are odd.  The next Odd day will be 11-19-1999 (which is today).  The next Odd day after that will be 1-1-3111 — which is well over a thousand years away, which we will never see.  Days such as 4-13-89 have both…

WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.  Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the…

Assembler Chicken: First it builds the road…C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.COBOL Chicken:0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.IF NO-MORE-VEHICLESTHEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROADVARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTILON-THE-OTHER-SIDEELSEGO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGLISP Chicken: (((((((car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(car(cdr(road))))…Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken,…

PERTH, Australia (AP) — Ansett Airlines grounded one of its planes to search for a snake after a 6-year-old boy was bitten by a deadly taipan thought to be on board.Ansett spokesman Peter Young said the A-320 Airbus was searched by seven experienced snake catchers when it landed in Adelaide on the return flight, and…

I have seen some pretty off the mark horoscopes but this one takes the cake… Read this one cuz you can't lose even if you're born under the most ill-fated star there is… You should really try this… It's really weird but it's funny!!!Write your answers down on a piece of paper… No cheating… Don't…

12% on Monday23% on Tuesday40% on Wednesday20% on Thursday5% on FridayAnd remember… When you're having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off.Now get back to work!!

Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in Boston Common when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down t the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.  A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the…