Category: Humor
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Only in America
… Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.… Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.… Do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.… Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.… Do we leave cars worth…
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Proper Attire
A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees…
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Saturday Golf
There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. Well, one Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said it was OK. So they teed off. About two…
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Spooky
A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a "BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…" behind him. Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him… "BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…"The man begins to run towards his home, but the coffin bounces after him,…
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Glossary of Computer Terms
Defined Minnesota styleLog OnMaking da vood stove hotter.Log OffDon't add vood. MonitorKeep and eye on da vood stove. MegahertzWhen a big log drops on your barefoot in da morning.Floppy DiskVhat you get from piling too much wood. RamDa hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork. DriveGetting home most of da vinter. PromptVhat ya vish da…
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The Drunken Physician
The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation. His doctor came in, looking very glum."I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking.""Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
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The Trouble Tree
The carpenter I hired to help me restore an old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start.While I drove him home, he sat in stoney silence. On arriving,…
