- So many men, so few who can afford me.
- God made us sisters, prozac made us friends.
- If they don’t have chocolate in heaven, I ain’t going.
- My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
- Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
- Coffee, chocolate, men … some things are just better rich.
- Don’t treat me any differently than you would the queen.
- If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
- Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
- I’m out of estrogen — and I have a gun.
- Guys have feelings too. But like…who cares?
- Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
- And your point is?
- Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
- Of course I don’t look busy…I did it right the first time.
- Do not start with me. You will not win.
- You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.
- All stressed out and no one to choke.
- I’m one of those bad things that happen to good people.
- How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
- Sorry if I looked interested. I’m not.
- If we are what we eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.
- Don’t upset me! I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.
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And one other that I got in a version from my sister-in-law, Marlys, “Who lit the fuse on your tampon?”