Help desk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Help desk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Help desk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note ..”
Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry…
Help desk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Help desk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello…I can’t print.
Help desk: Would you click on start for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates — damn it!
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t find it…
Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Help desk: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah……………….Thank you.
Help desk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Help desk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Help desk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 0 paces back.
Customer: Okay.
Help desk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Help desk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work!
Help desk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V – as in Victor, and the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
A customer couldn’t get on the Internet:
Help desk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Help desk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
Help desk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Help desk: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
Help desk: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Help desk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?