Category: Humor

Boss: "You submitted the lowest bid to run our new technical support hotline, Mister Dogbert.  The other bidders would love to know how you plan to handle twelve thousand calls a day by yourself."Dogbert: "Tell them to call me."Scott AdamsNETWORK CONFUSIONMy husband works for a company which provides on-line services.  A caller to the tech…

All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which, over nine months, develop into a complete female baby.Sometimes a problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead.  Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells necessary to develop a male's…

486The average IQ needed to understand a PC.State-of-the-artAny computer you can't afford.ObsoleteAny computer you own.MicrosecondThe time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.G3Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."Syntax ErrorWalking into a computer store and saying "Hi,…

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife."Tom, 5WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date."Mike, 9WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS…

In case you receive an e-mail titled “How to Give a Cat a Coloni” DO NOT open it.  It will erase everything on your hard drive.  Forward this message to as many people as you can.  This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it.This information was announced yesterday morning…

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous.  They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if…

You wake up at 3:00 AM to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.You get a tattoo that reads, "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3.0 or higher."You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,…