Category: Humor

Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.If you display a file on the…

Dear God,Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?NormaDear God,Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?JaneDear God,Who draws the lines around the countries?NanDear God,I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.…

Windows 98 is a 32 bit patch to a 16 bit GUI based platform on an 8 bit operating system, written for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company which can not stand 1 bit of competition.Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new operating system "Windows 2000" will be…

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.  One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.  There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming…

Ole, Lena and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and were becoming desperate having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon…

Out of the mouth of children come some of the best things.  Thank God for our children…One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally the father…

So your daughter’s a hooker,and it spoiled your day…Look at the bright side,she’s a really good lay.My tire was thumping….I thought it was flat… when I looked at the tire….I noticed your cat… SorryYou had your bladder removedand you’re on the mends … here’s a bouquet of flowersand a box of Depends.You’ve announced that you’re…