Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Kids on Love

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Questions concerning love and wisdom were posed to a group of children (ages 5 to 10).  Their responses were amazingly astute and very enlightening, thus proving that all we need to know, we probably learned in kindergarten.WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?"Eighty-four.  Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and…

  • Maybe We Spoke too Quickly

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Seems God was just about done creating the universe. But He had a couple of things left over in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to pee standing.…

  • More Pork, the other white meat

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Dear Sir:My friend in Ute, Iowa received a check for $1000 from the government for not raising 50 hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what…

  • No Wonder

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    Dr Wingnut
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    For years I've been blaming it on iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies.  But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked.  The population of this country is 35 million. Four million are retired.  That leaves 31 million to do the work.There are 19 million…

  • Points to ponder

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A bus station is where a bus stops.  A train station is where a train stops.  On my desk I have a work station…Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?Does fuzzy logic tickle?If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge…

  • Real newspaper advertisements

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Lost: small apricot poodle.  Reward.  Neutered.  Like one of the family.For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.Four-poster bed, 101 years old.  Perfect for antique lover.Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick…

  • Soap?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests.  The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times.Dear Maid,Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial.  Please remove…