Dr Wingnut

Day: August 3, 2000

  • Lexicon

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    The Washington Post's "Style Invitational" asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:[I have exercised my editorial privilege by adding words to the definitions for added clarity]ForeployAny misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining…

  • Lewinsky/Kaczynski

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    The goal of this week's word game challenge is to use the words "Lewinsky" and "Kaczynski" in a limmerick.  Submit your answers by return e-mail.Here are the winners:Runner up #1There once was a girl named LewinskyWho played on skin flute like Stravinsky'Twas "Hail To The Chief"On this flute made of beefThat stole the front page…

  • Letters to God from kids

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    Dear God,Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?NormaDear God,Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones you have now?JaneDear God,Who draws the lines around the countries?NanDear God,I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.…

  • Lawyers

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    Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the golden gate bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing.  His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor.  He was late getting home and was speeding. *Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned…

  • Late night at the bar

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    Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness.  They left in the early morning hours and went home separately.They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.Bill claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as…

  • Klingon Programming

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    Top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer (Say it like you mean it): "Specifications are for the weak and timid!""This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code!""You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in…

  • Kissing rules

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    The Lovers of the Heart In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.Article 1: Statement of Love — The KissKiss on the hand…. I adore you.Kiss on the cheek… I just want to be friends.Kiss on the neck… I want you.Kiss on…