Category: Humor

FACT: A lite beer has between 70 and 100 calories, is almost all water, and the part that isn't water is almost pure carbohydrates.FACT: The average diet recommends a daily caloric intake of 1,200 calories for women, 1,500 for men, if you want to lose the medically safe two to three pounds a week. On…

Adam Sandler's version of Macarana, "The Masturbata" (sung to tune of the Macarana) by Adam SandlerSitting in my house, and I know that I'm alona,Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona.Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon StonaHey Masturbata!!I go a little faster and its feeling kind of nicea,Once ain't…

A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen!  Thirteen!  Thirteen!"Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in.  Someone inside pokes him in the eye.Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"

"Viagra. The quicker dicker upper""One-a-day, like iron""Get a piece of the rock""You've come a long way, baby""Viagra, it plumps when you take 'em""Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"Tastes great, more filling""Viagra, built ram tough""Here's the beef!"Just do her.Some honorable mentions:"We work harder, so you don't have to""Ten inches long… and growing.""Viagra,…

Excerpt from a recent live radio interview on one of the regional Welsh stations.A female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a Youth club:Interviewer: So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on this adventure holiday?Jones: We're going to teach them climbing, abseiling, canoeing, archery, shooting…Interviewer: Shooting!  That's a bit irresponsible…

After carefully evaluating the government's suit against them, Microsoft decided to release Windows 98 anyway, after adding these 11th-hour tweaks:Included subliminal "Impeach Janet Reno" messages in start-up screen.New Internet Explorer feature: whenever you visit a Web site ending in ".gov," a message first appears reminding you that Microsoft is not a monopoly.Source code no longer…

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She…