Smart Women

  • I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb …. and I also know that I’m not blonde.Dolly Parton
  • You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.Erica Jong
  • I want to have children, but my friends scare me.  One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours.  I don’t even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.Rita Rudner
  • I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.Wendy Liebman
  • Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.Erma Bombeck
  • If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.Sue Grafton
  • I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.Roseanne Barr
  • I think therefore I’m single.Lizz Winstead
  • When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping.  Men invade another country.Elayne Boosler
  • Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.Maryon Pearson
  • I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.Gilda Radner
  • In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.Margaret Thatcher
  • I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.Gloria Steinem
  • Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.Gloria Steinem
  • I never married because there was no need.  I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.  I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.Marie Corelli
  • Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.Baroness Edith Summerskill
  • If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties?  How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?Linda Ellerbee
  • I am a marvelous housekeeper.  Every time I leave a man I keep his house.Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.Eleanor Roosevelt
via email from Martha Harris, Mon, 4 Dec 2000 15:54:12 -0500