Category: Humor

Demotivators

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiousity.I would not allow this employee to breed.This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.Works well when under constant supervision and…

Seventy-year-old George went for his annual physical.  All of his tests came back with great results.  Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically, but how are you doing mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with yourself; do you have a good relationship with God?”George replied, "Absolutely.  God and me are tight.  We are…

The first book of the Bible is Guiness, in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and ball of fire by night.The Jews had trouble throughout their history with unsympathetic Genitals.Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of…

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely.  So God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said, "I don't have anyone to talk to."God said, " I will give you a companion, and it will be a woman." God continued, "This woman will cook for you and wash your clothes,…

Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness.  They left in the early morning hours and went home separately.They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.Bill claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as…

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."The…