Month: February 2000

TermDefinitionBenignWhat you be after you be eight.ArteryThe study of paintings.BacteriaBack door to cafeteria.BariumWhat doctors do when patients die.Cesarean SectionA neighborhood in Rome.CATscanSearching for kitty. CauterizeMade eye contact with her. ColicA sheep dog.ComaA punctuation mark.D & CWhere Washington is.DilateTo live long. EnemaNot a friend.FesterQuicker than someone else.FibulaA small lie. GenitalNon-Jewish person.G.I. SeriesWorld Series of military baseball.…

You're not having a bad day… these people had bad days:The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from the onlookers. A minute later they…

This little boy goes to his Dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well, son let me try to explain it to you this way… I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me 'Capitalism'. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the household, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care…

HIS:Pull up to ATMInsert cardEnter PIN and accountTake cash, card, and receiptDrive away HERS:Pull up to ATMBack up and pull forward to get closerShut off engineRoll down windowGet out of car because you're too far from machineHunt for card in purseInsert cardHunt in purse for grocery receipt with PIN written on itEnter PIN numberStudy instructionsHit…

The phone rang at FBI headquarters. "Hello?""Hello, is this the FBI?""Yes. What do you want?""I'm calling to report my neighbor Thibodeaux! He's hiding marijuana in his firewood.""This will be noted."Next day, the FBI goons came over to Thibodeaux's house. They searched the shed where the firewood was kept, broke every piece of wood, found no…

One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.As he stood in front of the group of high powered over achievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz." He pulled out a one gallon, wide…

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah."This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes…